Mickey's and Rhonda's Burial and The SandHill Cranes

I am writing an account of the burial on Saturday, January 08, 2011 for the benefit of all who were not able to attend.  I was honored to be a part of this most unusual and magical ceremony.   

My partner (Patti), Mickey's brother (Dave), his partner (Bonnie), and I drove to Prairie Creek Conservation Cemetery shortly after Mickey died to select a burial site.  We wound our way along the one mile path that cuts through the prairie and forest between the Alachua Conservation Trust's timber frame headquarters to the sacred burial land.  As soon as we arrived at the cemetery--which is virtually indistinguishable from the surrounding wild lands--we noticed a pair of Sandhill Cranes standing sentry beneath a sprawling oak tree. 

The Sandhill Crane is an endangered species that migrates from as far away as Siberia to the warmth of Florida each winter.  These birds, with wingspans up to eight feet, are undoubtedly masters of adaptation as they are the longest still-living birds on our beautiful planet.  Fossil records dating back 2.5 million years stand as testimony to the resilience and strength of these great creatures.  The Sandhill Cranes mate for life--travelling together on their long migrations and "dancing" their unique mating dance.  They also are one of the few bird species that sing together joining their haunting warble in what's known as a "unison" bird call because they simultaneously sing with each other rather than the traditional call-and-response of other birds.  Owls, for instance, hoot at each other rather than with each other. 

Mickey and Rhonda's favorite piece of art in the Florida home we all shared was a picture of Sandhill Cranes taken by world-renowned nature photographer, Thomas Mangelsen.  The photo, aptly named "Wings of Peace,"  rests on the mantle over the fireplace in the living room.  Back in the days when Mickey and Rhonda were able to cycle, we would all ride our bikes to Paynes Prairie Nature Preserve in the hope that we could catch sight of the Sandhill Cranes. If you would like to see the "Wings of Peace" photo go to the link listed on the right hand side of this blog. 

It was truly magical to see the Sandhill Cranes welcoming us to the cemetery.  The Prairie Creek Conservation Cemetery volunteers dug the grave at the location the cranes selected and later remarked that they were astounded at how close the cranes allowed them to get.   

Only a few hours later, over 50 mourners gathered at the timber frame lodge to begin the trek to the burial grounds.  Most people walked the trail while a few bicyclists formed an honor guard that escorted the hearse.  Mickey and Rhonda were avid cyclists and actually met each other at a bicycling workshop led by their friend, Kathy Cantwell, who establishe--and was recently buried at--Prairie Creek Conservation Cemetery. 

We gathered in a 25-foot circle surrounding the open grave as Mickey's body was lain next to it.  Her body was enshrouded in the brightly colored quilt my partner and I gave Mickey and Rhonda on the occasion of their wedding.  We placed Rhonda's ashes in one of the gords Mickey had grown in her garden.  Previously, Mickey had organized a gord-painting party to decorate gords to be hung as birdhouses.   The gord--painted in vibrant reds and yellows by their dear friend, Lynda Lou--kept falling from the tree in our yard.  In this biodegradable gord, Rhonda's ashes were placed so that they could be buried with Mickey.   

Mickey was a spiritual person who identified with Mother Nature rather than an organized religion.  The ceremony honored those beliefs as mourners dressed in jeans and t-shirts stepped forward one by one to take a brilliant yellow sunflower and place it on her shrouded body.  Some read poems, others told stories, and some simply placed the flower in silent tribute.  There were lovely--sometimes funny--stories told about Mickey's spirit of adventure, her devoted love for Rhonda, and her fearless and independent nature.  Other stories featured her generosity, the value she placed on her connection to her community of friends and family, and her reverence for Mother Nature. 

Some parts of the ceremony were planned while others evolved spontaneously as the event proceeded.  One person suggested that we each say a single word that embodied for us the essence of Mickey's spirit.  Next, we all joined hands and simultaneously spoke our individual words into the darkening sky. 

Finally, an Indian Burial Poem was read as her body and Rhonda's ashes were gently lowered together into the ground.  Mourners then worked together to shovel the ground back into its place until the grave was completely covered.  Because Mickey was a pilot and the Sandhill Cranes were guiding this ceremony, a winged elm tree was selected to be planted next to the grave.  The lyrical singing of Hawaiian Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's (IZ) recording of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" accompanied the return of Mickey and Rhonda's remains to the earth.  This was the song played at Mickey and Rhonda's wedding.  You can go to the link at the right to hear it.

Indian Burial Poem

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow;

I am the diamond glints on the snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain;

I am the gentle autumn's rain.  

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.  

I am the soft star that shines at night.  

Do not stand on my grave and cry.

I am not there; I did not die. 

Rhonda and Mickey's friend, Orit, recited The Kaddish in what I assume was perfect Hebrew as Orit is a native of Isreal.  Rhonda's family gathered together in Baltimore at the time of the ceremony to do the same and to light the candle from Rhonda's funeral that had been held there only six weeks prior. 

The mourners placed sunflowers, irises, and gerbera daisies on the mound as K.D. Lang's recordings of "Hallelujah" and "Calling All Angels" played in the background.  You can hear these songs at the links to the right of this post. 

We thought that the ceremony had ended, and then the most amazing thing happened. As the sun was dropping behind pink and orange tinted clouds, we heard the "unison" call of a pair of Sandhill Cranes.  We all simply stood in awe watching as the graceful birds glided in a circle above our group.  It is making me cry just remembering these moments when it seemed that the cranes came to seal the ceremony. 

As we made our way along the path back to our cars we talked about the pair of Sandhill Cranes and the grace and beauty they brought to this entire event--a tribute to the grace and beauty that Mickey and Rhonda brought to each of our lives.